07 July 2006, 9:23 PM :
confusion- writes:

i feel like crying out loud now. without any disturbance of anything ; anyone. but i somehow just cant stop thinking. i dont know what im thinking. i just feel a sudden of sadness in me. i tried to smile. i tried so hard, just to smile. i want to smile from the buttom of my heart. but somehow, i cant. i failed.

things aint as easy as i think it is. i just want to live my life happily. because of a problem i used to face a week ago, i turned out to be harsh in expressing my words ; feelings,more vulgar in both actions and the way i talk.

i cant get myself up again. things that is happening around me is too much for me to take. i dont want this kind of life. i thought that everything is like back to normal. problems between friendship of yansi ; kianean ; me, is solved. now then i know that my attitude wasnt the one that others want. a problem just solved, a new one come after another. when then i can live my life the way i want? when then i can have a peaceful life?

everynight, i just cant sleep. even others culd see the serious eyebags i got. it is so serious. things aint the way i want. i just want a simple life. . with the one i love. is it a difficult thing to ask?




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